What Collab Members Wish They Had Done Sooner [TFLP191]

In today’s podcast, Sarah is kicking off a new series where listeners will hear first-hand experiences from her clients. In each episode, one question will be asked, and you’ll get to hear answers from multiple people. 

Each of the clients answering this question is part of the Collab. This is a self-paced program where you get access to The Former Lawyer Framework, the curriculum that helps people figure out what they want to do outside of the law. Collab members are also given access to the Circle community, which is a group of people who can relate to the struggles of leaving the law.

The question kicking this off is: What is one thing that you resisted doing in this process of figuring out what you want to do that isn’t practicing law that you wish you had done sooner?

Having Conversations With Others About Leaving

The first responder mentions networking and making contacts. One of their biggest takeaways in the Collab is that lawyers often need to have everything fleshed out and perfect with all the arguments and counter-arguments, but that will often prevent them from acting. With the awareness of that lawyer trait, this client has now overcome the hesitancy with networking and doing informational interviews with individuals in other industries and career paths.

The second responder also mentions wishing they had talked to more people about wanting to make a change. They were more concerned about what people would think, so they carried around the burden themselves instead of reaching out and learning more about other paths. Once the conversations started flowing with friends and family, it became even clearer that leaving the law was the right move and that people were very supportive.

Joining the Guided Track

The third client to respond mentions resisting the Guided Track initially. They had been listening to this podcast and hearing about the program. Even after signing up for the Collab, they didn’t get started on the materials right away. The extra level of accountability was just the push they needed. Recognizing that they have the type of personality that needs a push (like a group fitness class instead of a solo workout), the Guided Track is extremely beneficial. 

Setting Boundaries

Sarah’s fourth client responding to the question brought up boundaries. They resisted setting boundaries and advocating because they believed doing so wasn’t conducive to performing at a high level. During the program, Enneagrams were discussed, and they recognized some behavior patterns. Body signals that something was wrong had been ignored. Health became an issue, and it didn’t have to if only boundaries had been set. Therapy has helped build confidence and more comfort in advocating for this person. Plus, the Guided Track provided new tools to navigate the professional world.

Taking Action

The fifth response is about taking the first action step. For a while, they felt like they were doing something if they were just thinking about leaving the law. It was safe to think about it but let the ideas stay inside their head. It took a really long time to build up the courage just to take the first step. Joining the Collab and the Guided Track was helpful because the programs got the balls rolling. Things become tangible and real instead of just thoughts and ideas. 


If you’re interested in joining the Collab, you can go to formerlawyer.com/collab, and you can see all of the information about it and sign up.

Hear more first-hand client experiences:

Former Lawyers Share an Obvious Thing that was Transformative

Myths Former Lawyers Believed Before Leaving the Law

What Has Been the Biggest Surprise for Former Lawyers in the Collab?

What Would Former Lawyer Collab Members Tell Themselves Five Years Ago

Why These Former Lawyers Decided to Join the Guided Track

Sarah Cottrell: Hi, and welcome to The Former Lawyer Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Cottrell. I practiced law for 10 years and now I help unhappy lawyers ditch their soul-sucking jobs. On this show, I share advice and strategies for aspiring former lawyers, and interviews with former lawyers who have left the law behind to find careers and lives that they love.

The next episode in our summer re-release series is one of the episodes from our Collab member question series. If you've listened to this series before, you know that I asked a bunch of different people in the Collab to answer some questions about their experience, what they've learned, the things that they have taken away from the process of figuring out what it is that they want to do that isn't practicing law.

This series gets mentioned to me very frequently when people reach out to me. So I wanted to bring it back and highlight it. Of course, the first episode will be released again today and you're listening to it right now.

But if you look at the links, you can also go back and listen to all of the different episodes and the different questions that people have answered. Without further ado, let's get to the re-release of the first episode of the Collab member series.

I'm delighted to be kicking off a new series on the podcast where you're going to get to hear directly from some of my clients. These episodes are going to be short and sweet and perfect for summer.

In each episode, you are going to hear a number of people who are answering the same question. In this episode, the question that people are going to be answering is, “What is one thing that you resisted doing in this process of figuring out what it is that they wanted to do that isn't practicing law, that they wish they had done sooner?”

As you're listening, I just want to remind you that there are multiple ways to work with me and to become a client of mine, but the baseline way is to join the Collab. The Collab is a self-paced program where you get access to The Former Lawyer Framework, which is the curriculum that I've created to help you go through the process of figuring out what it is that you want to do that is not practicing law.

You also, when you join the Collab, get access to our Circle community, which is where we now have a community of over 200 lawyers who are all working towards or have worked towards the goal of leaving the law for something else.

Then also there is a replay library of workshops and panels that we've had, including panels with former lawyers who have moved on to do all sorts of different things to help you get information about what it is to do a job that is not a lawyer job.

If you’re interested in joining the Collab, you can go to formerlawyer.com/collab and you can see all of the information about it and sign up there. Now, let’s get to today’s episode where my clients are answering the first question of this series, which again is “What is one thing that you resisted doing in this process that you wish you had done sooner?”

Client 1: Obviously, join the Collab. But besides joining the Collab, I wish that I had made contacts or done some networking prior to when I did, just to get started with that. One of the things that in taking part in the Collab and doing the Guided Track and the exercises and tools that come with it, I came to learn that lawyers, in particular, think that we need to have everything completely fleshed out and perfect with our position arguments, counter-arguments, and counter-counter-arguments.

That oftentimes prevents us from acting. With the knowledge that that's a trait or a quality of lawyers helped me to overcome any hesitancy I had with networking and making contacts and informational interviews with individuals who are in the areas of careers that I am interested in going into.

Client 2: I wish I had talked to people around me about wanting to make a change a lot sooner than I did. I think I resisted that for a long time because I was embarrassed about what people around me might think.

It ended up being this burden that I was carrying myself without being able to let anybody else in on it. I think when I started talking to all kinds of different people in my life about it, friends, family, even people I went to law school with, classmates, folks in other legal circles, that made it a lot easier to start to make the change that I knew was going to be best for me.

Just about everybody I spoke to at various points about it, once I was comfortable doing that, was encouraging. They all understood what my reasons were and really supported me in working toward making a change.

Client 3: I had resisted joining the Guided Track, even though I knew myself and I knew how I worked, and I wish I had joined the Guided Track sooner. I had been listening to the podcast for about six months, and then I joined the Collab in March of 2022, and by that fall, I hadn't done any of the materials.

At that point, I stopped resisting. I joined the Guided Track for that extra level of accountability and support as I worked through the materials and answered some of these existential questions.

I wish I had done it sooner. I know myself. I know that I need deadlines and group accountability, and the Guided Track really ended up being perfect for that, perfect for me.

If you are like me and you are the type of person who needs a group exercise class, because otherwise, you're not going to go to the gym by yourself, then I would recommend the Guided Track over just trying to work through the Collab by yourself. It really made a substantial difference and I wish I had done it sooner.

Client 4: I resisted setting boundaries and advocating for myself because I had bought into the idea that doing so was not conducive to consistently performing at a high level and that anything less than perfection is a personal failing.

During the Guided Track, there was a module where we discussed the Enneagram, and that behavior was right in line with my Enneagram results of Type 1. I wish that I had taken my body's signals that something was wrong before it forced me to listen.

By that point, I had worked hard in therapy to learn how to advocate for myself in the workplace, but it became clear that my boundaries and medical issues were not being taken seriously.

Although setting boundaries would not have made the job fit for my needs in the context of the framework, I probably could have come out the other side healthier than I am now.

With the self-love that I've cultivated through therapy and self-knowledge through the Guided Track, I really do feel so much more confident in taking up space, the Guided Track gave me a new set of tools with which to navigate the professional world.

I am now able to confidently articulate my values, strengths, and needs in a job. I'm still recovering from the past few years. So I have to remind myself to listen to my body, which right now means working at a slower pace, which has been frustrating at times because I'm really excited about my new career path and actually really enjoy setting up my practice and interacting with clients.

Client 5: I think the one thing that I resisted for a long time, I think for the longest time, was just taking any kind of first step because it felt like it was “safer” to think about leaving my job and wanting to change careers and wanting to do something else in my head.

That felt like at least I was thinking about it, so at least I was doing something. But that's all it was. I was just thinking about it. For a really long time, maybe more than a year, I conflated thinking about it with doing something about it.

It took me a really, really long time to build up the courage to just put my foot down and say, “I'm going to do something about my situation. I'm going to take the steps I need to take to make a change.”

Stuff like joining the Collab and then joining the Guided Track are things that I had to really build myself up to. But once they happened, things just kept happening. Even though sometimes you do get stalled a little bit, once you take that first concrete step, once you put the idea out there, it's like tangible instead of just in my head, it became something that I could make progress on and keep pushing forward.

Sarah Cottrell: Thank you so much to each of my clients who participated in this project and answered this question. I hope that this was helpful to you. I think as a listener, one of the things that you probably noticed is the difference that having support made for so many of my clients.

Again, if you're interested in getting this kind of support, the place to start is by joining the Collab. You can do that at formerlawyer.com/collab. Thank you so much for joining me for this episode today. I can't wait for you to hear next week's episode.

Next week, you will hear my clients answering the question, “What's one thing that felt obvious or elementary, but was really transformative for you?” I look forward to speaking with you next week.

Thanks so much for listening. I absolutely love getting to share this podcast with you. If you haven't yet, I invite you to download my free guide: First Steps to Leaving the Law at formerlawyer.com/first. Until next time, have a great week.