Hi, and welcome to The Former Lawyer Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Cottrell. I practiced law for 10 years and now I help unhappy lawyers ditch their soul-sucking jobs. On this show, I share advice and strategies for aspiring former lawyers, and interviews with former lawyers who have left the law behind to find careers and lives that they love.

Hello everyone. Today we're talking about the fact that just because you're having an existential crisis doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. This is something that I see all the time. As lawyers, we expect whatever process we're going through, whether it's something we're doing through our job or figuring out what it is that we want to do that isn't practicing law, we expect it to sort of follow a neat and tidy path and we feel like if that's not happening or we don't see the next step clearly, that something is extremely wrong.

It's understandable. I mean, it's so much a part of our experience as lawyers and for many of us, even the reasons that we chose to become lawyers, the reasons often include things like wanting to have a clear path, wanting to know what direction to go, wanting to have a clearly-defined role, et cetera.

But here's the thing, going through the process of figuring out what it is that you want to do that is not practicing law is a very time-consuming and challenging process. When you’re going through that process and you find yourself in a position where you feel like you have a bunch of information, but maybe you don't have the information that you need or you have a bunch of information about who you are, but you don't really know what that means, it tends to create an existential crisis of like, “What am I doing? Where am I going? Who am I?”

Because ultimately, the question that you're answering in this process of figuring out what it is that you want to do is “Who am I?” “Who am I and what is the thing that's going to be the right fit for me?” So it makes sense that an existential crisis may/probably will occur. At least one.

In fact, I know I've shared this in the podcast before but a couple of years ago, we were on a group call for the Collab, and one of the members in the conversation that we were having said something like, "Are you even in this program if you haven't had at least one existential crisis?" Which is extremely fair, and I've repeated it many times since then because I don't think it's a hallmark of the program per se, I think it's a hallmark of the process that you have to go through as a lawyer when you realize that you don't want to practice law anymore and you want to do something else but you need to figure out what that is.

For many of us, it's developing a skill set often for the first time of being able to identify who we are and the things that are truly fit for us as opposed to what we think we should do or what we're good at, all of these things that might factor into our decision but shouldn't necessarily be the main drivers of our decision in the way that they were originally when we decided to go to law school and become lawyers.

I mentioned that comment from a Collab member about how are you even in this program if you haven't had at least one existential crisis to let you know that if you are in this process and you are having an existential crisis of the “Who am I?” variety and it feels like you're flailing around, I want you to know that that doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong.

As lawyers, when we have this sense of like, “I'm flailing. Who am I? What is even happening,” it very often triggers our sense that we're not doing this process the way it “should be done,” and that we could be doing it in some way that we're not doing, unclear exactly what that is, but somehow going through the process in that way would prevent us from feeling this sort of existential crisis.

That's why I wanted to tell you, if you're a lawyer who's listening to this podcast and you are trying to figure out what it is that you want to do that isn’t practicing law and you feel like you're having an existential crisis, it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. It doesn't mean you shouldn't leave the law if the law is not a good fit for you. It often just means that you are really doing the work to figure out what is next for you.

Now, this is a totally shameless plug, but I think one of the most helpful things when you are having an existential crisis like this and feeling like, “Wait, am I just doing this wrong?” is being able to talk with other people who are going through the same process and seeing that your experience is not abnormal and is not a sign that you're doing something wrong or going in the wrong direction.

Of course, if that is something that would be helpful to you, that's one of the many things that I designed the Collab for. I definitely recommend that if you are having this experience and you think that that would be helpful to you, that you join us in the Collab, which you can always do by going to formerlawyer.com/collab.

The other thing that being able to interact with other people going through this process can do, not just normalizing the reality that meaningfully working through this process probably will evoke at least one existential crisis, but also being able to talk with other people who are going through this process, especially people who are in different phases of the process, can also help you see if there are things that you could be doing differently that would be more helpful or that might help you move forward in terms of getting the questions answered that you need to get answered in order to get more clarity.

It can be really helpful for other people who understand the nature of this process and understand the nature of the type of existential crisis that you may/probably are going through because of trying to figure this question out, having those people around you who are able to reflect back to you what you're sharing with them and to help you determine if there are things that you could be doing differently or what other productive pathways you might consider is incredibly valuable.

The hardest thing about having this type of existential crisis is if you're doing it on your own in a vacuum. It is much easier to feel like you're doing something wrong if you're experiencing an existential crisis all by yourself without outside perspective, without interacting with other people who have been there or are there or have seen other people be there, and that's just not something that I want for you.

So if you do feel like you are having an existential crisis and also that you're having to experience it alone, again, I definitely recommend that you join us in the Collab because that is one of the many reasons that I created the Collab because it is so much easier to go through this process and community, which is not to say that you won't have existential crises and it's not to say that it's easy because it's not easy, but it certainly can be easier and getting the perspective of others who understand the process is a huge part of that.

So to wrap up, just because you're having an existential crisis does not mean you're doing anything wrong. Just because you're having an existential crisis does not mean that you shouldn't leave the law. Having an existential crisis as part of the process of figuring out what it is that you should do that isn’t practicing law is extremely normal.

It's so normal that I would expect it. I would expect to see it as you go through this process. That is one of the many reasons, of course, why I recommend therapy for all lawyers, but especially lawyers who are trying to figure out what it is that they want to do that is not practicing law.

Okay, if you are in the midst of an existential crisis, I see you, I know what it's like. All the lawyers in the Collab see you, they know what it's like. Keep going, you're not doing anything wrong. Thanks so much for listening. I'll talk to you next week.

Are you sick of just thinking about it and ready to take action towards leaving the law? Join us in the Former Lawyer Collab. The Collab is my entry-level program for lawyers who are wanting to make a change and leave the law for another career. You can join us at formerlawyer.com/collab. Until next time, have a great week.