4 Nov
How a Misalignment of Values and Career Helped a Lawyer Become a Therapist with David Sazant [TFLP246]
You went to law school because it seemed like the right next step. Maybe you told yourself that if you just worked hard enough, studied enough, put in enough hours, everything would click into place. But instead of feeling more confident as time goes on, you’re dealing with imposter syndrome. The work doesn’t feel natural, and worse, it doesn’t feel right.
If that sounds familiar, David Sazant’s story might resonate with you.
David is a former litigator based in Canada who now works as a therapist specializing in men who struggle to feel aligned with their work. He spent years trying to convince himself that litigation was the right path, moving from insurance defense to construction and commercial litigation, hoping a different practice area would solve the problem. It didn’t. The issue wasn’t the type of law he practiced—it was that the work fundamentally conflicted with his values.
When Hard Work Isn’t Enough
David didn’t plan on becoming a lawyer. Growing up, he wanted to be a cardiologist, driven by his household’s expectation that more education was always better. When he realized he hated science outside of biology, medical school was out. After finishing his psychology degree in 2008, he spent a few years trying to make it as an actor. When that didn’t pan out, he faced a choice: MBA or law school. He picked law school because he didn’t want to deal with the math required for the GMAT.
He knew almost nothing about being a lawyer before starting. Once there, he bounced between two mentalities: feeling completely unfamiliar with the subject matter while dealing with imposter syndrome, and believing that if he just studied enough, the material would eventually click.
It never did. Even after graduating and practicing for years, those skills never felt natural. But like many lawyers, David believed the grind would eventually pay off. He moved from insurance defense to construction and commercial litigation, thinking a different practice area might help. Nothing changed.
What Happens When Your Work Contradicts Your Values
The problem wasn’t litigation itself. The problem was that David values authenticity, meaningful connection, and fostering warmth and safety with people. In litigation, opportunities to do that were rare. He found himself looking forward to mediations because they were the only times he could genuinely connect with clients.
The rest of the time, his work made someone’s life more difficult. He was either chasing something that would be detrimental to someone else or preventing someone from getting what they wanted. Acting against his value system had predictable consequences: anxiety, depression symptoms, and declining self-esteem.
When David hired a career coach who works with lawyers, she asked him to describe a weekday working his ideal job. He responded with remarkable specificity, describing himself walking to meet clients and helping them navigate mental health challenges. He had never consciously brainstormed this before, but the clarity told him everything he needed to know.
Making the Leap to Therapy
David’s partner was instrumental in his decision to go back to school. She understood there would be a financial step back but recognized he’d be more fulfilled in the long run. In 2021, he started a virtual master’s program in counseling psychology while working part-time as a litigator—a rare arrangement that gave him breathing room.
The experience was completely different from law school. The virtual format was more flexible and relaxed, though he missed connecting with classmates in person. After completing his master’s, he worked at a large clinic where most of his clients ended up being men between 20 and 60. He noticed common themes and challenges, which led him to open his own men’s therapy practice in early August, focusing on professionals navigating questions about their values and career alignment.
Why Values Matter More Than You Think
Most of us weren’t encouraged to think about our values growing up. We heard a lot about what’s important in society but learned little about authenticity and what gives us meaning. Choosing a life aligned with your values can feel scary because it often conflicts with what you were taught and conditioned to believe.
This is where therapy becomes valuable. A therapist can help you identify obstacles and determine whether your values conflict with your conditioning. Sometimes we face choices that would bring us closer to our values, but we make the opposite decision because it feels safer in the moment. In the long run, satisfying that short-term urge without examining the consequences doesn’t help our self-esteem.
When David works with clients, he focuses on three things: being committed to living in line with your values, learning to live in the present moment regardless of discomfort, and unhooking from painful thoughts and feelings so you can behave in line with your values.
You can contact David on LinkedIn or his website. The practice is also on Instagram at pursuit.therapy. If you’re thinking about leaving the law, join the Former Lawyer Collab.
Hi, and welcome to The Former Lawyer Podcast. I'm your host, Sarah Cottrell. I practiced law for 10 years and now I help unhappy lawyers ditch their soul-sucking jobs. On this show, I share advice and strategies for aspiring former lawyers, and interviews with former lawyers who have left the law behind to find careers and lives that they love.
Okay, today I want to talk about something that is just a ridiculous fiction that I think is perpetrated and permeates so many law firms and it's around the question of billables and getting work.
Here's the thing first. You know that we've talked in the podcast before about my view about billables, which is that it is so frequently used as a criticism of associates. Like, “Oh, you're billables. You're not getting enough billables, blah, blah, blah.”
The reality is that in 95% of those scenarios, it is because the work isn't there and it is not actually an appropriate criticism of a more junior lawyer because they are not responsible for generating work.
Unless it's an extreme circumstance where someone is literally avoiding doing billable work, and that can actually be documented—which basically is never actually the case, except in very rare exceptions—the lack of billables is not something that should be treated as a failure on the part of an associate, or even like a more junior partner, depending on the circumstances, and yet it so often is.
That's the baseline. It is wild to me that you can have an environment where someone is not being given work and then is being faulted for not doing work. A corollary to that is this idea that you should be fixing the problem of not having billables by going out and getting work from people.
Here's why I say that. I just think it is so ridiculous that there's this idea of like, “Oh, well, you're not getting enough billable work.” Well, the fix for that is not for the people who are responsible for bringing in work to bring in more work. The fix for that is that you as the associate really need to be out there, knocking on doors, asking people for work, et cetera, et cetera.
I know that if you were an associate or ever were an associate, and you are listening to this podcast, you have had the experience of looking for work, emailing people that you need work, emailing your department head, and going around your office.
There's only so much that you can ask people for work. The fact that it is treated as like, “Oh, this is the associate's job” is additionally bananas, because we also know that partners, department heads, whoever is in charge of monitoring people's hours, depending on the way your firm does it, has access to the information about the billables that you have, and therefore should be able to direct more work to people who need the work.
There's this weird idea that the people in the position of being able to see who has work and who might need work are somehow helpless to remedy that situation. In fact, the remedy is supposed to come from you wandering around your floor of your office knocking on people's doors and/or just incessantly emailing people and asking them to give you work.
I just think it is a ridiculous form of gaslighting that creates so much anxiety understandably for junior lawyers because I have never met someone who is not hitting their hours, who is not also basically stressing about not hitting their hours and doing all of the things and running up against the limitation of you can only email people so many times. You can only walk around so many times.
It is so toxic to literally not have the work to give to people or to not be structuring the work in a way that allows you to give work to everyone who needs it. Let's do a little side detour.
The other problem that you often see in these scenarios where someone isn't hitting their billables and is being told, “You need to go out and whatever, get more work,” there's almost always a scenario where some of the associates are on matters where they are billing ridiculous numbers of hours and then there are other people who are not hitting their hours.
There are lots of different reasons for that around staffing and clients being willing to only have a certain number of people, like staff to a matter, et cetera, et cetera. But again, there is always this sense, I feel like, in law firms of, “Well, what could we possibly do about this scenario? There's nothing we can do.”
It's just like, “No, there are so many things that you could do.” Instead you are turning this into the problem of the least powerful lawyer in this scenario. The one who does not have control over a work allocation, the one who does not have the ability to see the distribution of work and do anything about it.
It never ceases to amaze me that the solution to someone having low billables is for that person to somehow go find more work when, by definition, they are not the ones who know what work is available.
It is definitely one of those things that I feel like is so common in how our industry is organized that no one really seems to ask why. In another type of environment, in another organization, in other jobs, the idea that the people who are more junior and don't have access to the information about all the various things that are going on, that those people would somehow also be responsible for figuring out how to get work, as opposed to the people who are more senior, who literally know what works needs to be done and are responsible for handing out the work.
I think it is hard to explain to someone who is not a lawyer how it is that the people who are responsible for handing out work, for assigning work, for bringing junior lawyers onto their cases, how those people are not the people who are also responsible for making sure that the work is distributed properly.
You basically have this scenario where the people who don't have visibility into that are also being told that they're responsible for making sure that it happens, which is just bananas because the reality is that the people who are actually handing out the work are the ones who are the gatekeepers of who gets the work and who gets the billables.
Okay, so yeah, at this point, I'm just belaboring the point because I just think it's so transparently ridiculous that the solution to someone having low billables is like, “You should wander around and knock on people's doors,” as opposed to the people who have work should be handing out work.
Of course, the problem there becomes the reality that if there is not work to hand out, then in fact, there are not billables available and it is not because an associate is failing at getting billables, it's because the work is not there.
But that requires a level of responsibility to be taken by senior lawyers and law firms that structurally have been allowed to defer on to other people and that is a problem for many reasons, many of which we've talked about on this podcast before.
So yeah, the fiction that you should be wandering around and finding work in a context where you're not the one who actually knows what work is available is one of the many, many things about law firms and toxic law firm environments that I think create really problematic and damaging environments because transparently, if you have the people with less power being treated as those other ones with more power, yeah, it's not good, it's not good.
Okay, That is what I have to say about billables and associates being told to find work and all the reasons why I find it to be ridiculous. Thanks so much for joining me this week. I will talk to you next week.
Are you sick of just thinking about it and ready to take action towards leaving the law? Join us in the Former Lawyer Collab. The Collab is my entry-level program for lawyers who are wanting to make a change and leave the law for another career. You can join us at formerlawyer.com/collab. Until next time, have a great week.
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